Tag: boundaries

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Written by Cheryl on . Posted in Life's Lessons.

Don’t you absolutely just love the song about respect by Aretha Franklin? You know the one,“R-E-S-P-E-C-T…..Find out what it means to me.” I never thought about it before, but I guess it does mean different things to different people. To me it means being polite, mindful, thoughtful, considerate, and treating everyone with the human dignity they deserve. A few weeks ago I met a woman for the first time. We were introduced online by a mutual acquaintance who assured us that we had a lot in common and would get along famously. She was wrong. We met at a coffee shop, got a table, and exchanged a few pleasantries. Suddenly, she whipped out a notebook and said that she just got an idea and had to jot it down before she forgot it. No problem. I often do that myself. She...

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Breaking Up With My BFF

Written by Cheryl on . Posted in Cheryl's View.

Breaking up with someone is always awkward, and uncomfortable. But I had the McDaddy of uncomfortable breakups when I had to break up with my BFF of 30 years. Because, how do you tell someone that you have been best and dearest friends with for 30 years that you haven’t liked them for the past 15 and have been trying to figure out how to break up with them for the past 10? Like I said, it was awkward. So awkward and uncomfortable that I actually had to seek professional help. My friend and I met in ballet class 30 years earlier and established an unlikely friendship. She was quiet, reserved, shy, and highly intelligent. I was loquacious, demonstrative, outgoing, and just smart enough to get by. For some reason we got along famously. However, over the years what had begun as a wonderful...

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Excessive Apology Disorder

Written by Cheryl on . Posted in Ninja Notes.

When I realized how often I was saying the words “I’m sorry” to everyone for everything, I became acutely aware of how many people apologize excessively when they don’t have to. I even came up with a name for it, which I dubbed Excessive Apology Disorder. Thank you–I thought it was pretty good myself. When we have EAD, it allows for a close cousin to come creeping in, which is the chronic and nagging voice of self-doubt. Think about it. Every time we take responsibility for something that isn’t our fault, we relinquish a little bit of our personal power. We literally hand it over to another person, typically the one we are apologizing to. When we make excessive apologizing a habit, (like I did), we are constantly chipping away at our self-confidence and...

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The Power of Grace….

Written by Cheryl on . Posted in Ninja Notes.

Grace. It’s such a beautiful word. Just the sound of it brings forth a sense of ease, elegance, and peace. Who wouldn’t want to experience grace? Maybe we felt like we had it at some point but lost it along the way. (I don’t know what happened to it….I know I left it around here somewhere). Perhaps we feel like we have been looking for it all of our lives. It’s possible that we don’t even know what we’re looking for, but intuitively know that something is missing. What is grace, anyway? In my mind, grace is a feeling. It is a sense of confidence and well-being. It is about having a strong sense of self-awareness, and being comfortable in your own skin. You know how to set personal boundaries and how to cultivate healthy relationships. You respect...

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